THROUGH THE YEARS: The Story of Talits and Toboy
Part 2
After the wedding, as was customary in the Philippines at that time, Lita went to live with her husband's family. She had to adapt to her new environment. Kailangang makisama sa mga biyenan. This was the first time Lita had ever lived outside of her parents' house. She was used to being taken care of. Now she was suddenly a wife and a homemaker. She tried her best to be a good wife and be a productive member of the household. She helped with the chores as much as she could. She did the cleaning of the house. In fact her mother-in-law praised her for doing a good job, cleaning every small corners of the house. There was one big concern, though. Well, you see, Lita wasn't fond of cooking way back then. (Shocked ba kayo, because those of us who know her are aware that she is a very good cook now.) Women have always been expected to be the provider of meals. Lita's lack of culinary skills had been a cause of arguments between Boy's family and Lita.
Family disagreements had really put a strain on the couple's relationship up to a time when Lita sometimes found small faults in Boy. Like what happened one night. Boy had the habit of throwing dirty clothes all over the bedroom floor. And this really pushed Lita's buttons that particular evening. They had a heated argument, ending up with Boy throwing a pillow at Lita. The fight was witnessed by Lita's Nanay through the open window. Remember, her Nanay lived next door. Lita, being the big baby that she was, went home to her Nanay that night.
Lita had confided to a friend from work about her problems at home. She had expressed her desire to have a place of their own. She did not want to live with her in-laws anymore. Her friend suggested that Lita should leave her husband. But Lita wouldn't do that. Women sometimes complain about their husbands, but that's just talk. Deep inside we really love them. And so as in Lita's case. It just so happened that her friend was looking for somebody to sublet her apartment to. Lita didn't pass up the opportunity. She talked to Boy and they immediately moved out of his parents' house. They were glad to have their own apartment at Quezon City.
After a year, her friend's landlord discovered that they were living there instead of her friend. It was against the homeowner's policy. They were asked to move out. By this time, her in-laws had a new house built at their old place. Her in-laws wanted to surprise them. Lita and Boy moved back to Tondo right next door to her in-laws. The couple was very happy and content with their new living situation. They had a place that they could call their very own now. They loved their independence. Lita even learned how to cook different kinds of dishes and delicacies. But life's trials didn't end there.
Lita was very fond of children. She was married at age 28. She was almost 35 now and still childless. She went to see a doctor and a specialist. She was told that her chances of getting pregnant were very slim. She was advised to take fertility pills. Later on her doctor also informed her that at her age, she was a candidate for a high-risk pregnancy. After being told that, she dismissed the idea of getting pregnant. She was surrounded with babies anyway. Her siblings had babies. She loved them like her own. Everyday after work, they would bring their babies at Nanay's place. Lita would also go there straight from work. She would play with her nephews and nieces and sometimes stay over for supper. It had become their routine until July 1996 when Lita and Boy left for Canada as independent immigrants.
Lita and Boy started a new life in Winnipeg, Canada. The first two years were very hard for Lita because she missed her nephews and nieces so much. She would even find herself crying at times. A few years later, nagbalik-bayan sila. They celebrated the Millenium New Year in the Philippines. Two of her pamangkins have left Manila to live in London. While one other niece had already grown up. So it didn't bother her anymore to be apart from them.
Lita and Boy have gained many friends in Winnipeg. When Boy turned 50 a couple of years ago, Lita surprised him with a party at Pelican Bay, also in Winnipeg. Two years later, when Lita turned 50, her friends gave her a surprise party, as well.
December 2002 marked Lita and Boy's silver wedding anniversary. Instead of throwing a big, lavish party for their friends, they celebrated it with style, just the two of them. They signed up for the Royal Caribbean Cruise. They went to Haiti, Jamaica, and Cancun, Mexico. And boy, did they have a good time!
Ate Lita and I met at Great West Life Assurance Company when she started working there in 2000. I consider her as one of my close friends. I confide in her and sometimes ask for advice. When I asked her what makes her marriage work, this is what she had to say: She and Kuya Boy are loyal to each other. They trust and respect each other. They don't get angry at the same time. They don't have any vices (masamang bisyo). They have the same group of friends. They also go shopping together. They go to events together. Hatid-sundo sa trabaho everyday. Come to think of it, these are very simple rules. And I guess they really work. After all, they have been happily married for 25 years.
